Manage Your Money With Intention

By Amy

I love talking about money. Not because I love spending it or even because I want more of it. I love talking about what happens when money stops controlling your life.

Timeless Money Habits

I was fortunate that good money habits were instilled in me growing up. My father always said that we should live below our means and save for tough times. We should live frugally and use cash when we can. We should take great care in borrowing money and not use credit cards.

This is the advice of a truck driver who always regretted not going to college. He always referred to himself as a simple man. But the lessons my poorly educated father taught me are the same lessons financial experts preach today. When the markets crashed in 2008 and many people lost everything, my dad was still making money off his investments. He complained that they weren’t producing like they had been. I laughed and reminded him that while most people lost all or a big part of their investments, his still made a profit. That doesn’t sound like the skill of a simple man to me.

Debt is a Powerful Teacher

Living within your means, avoiding debt and investing is a rock-solid plan—IF you follow it. I unfortunately did not. I wasn’t overspending or borrowing because my dad’s words always stayed with me, but I chose a partner who did. And we ended up in a deep financial hole called debt. We had two mortgages, two car payments and a LOT of credit card debt. I would listen to the Suze Orman show and hear my dad’s financial lessons repeated. And it was a constant erosion of my peace of mind. It was impossible for me to get out of debt with a partner who wasn’t bothered by it. He didn’t see it as a problem because our credit scores were exceptional because we were never late on a payment. But I worried that if I got sick or hurt and couldn’t run my businesses, our financial house of cards would collapse. I continued to listen to Suze and promised myself that one day, I would be debt free. I wondered how I could break free of the cage I felt like I was in. I was trying to plug the holes on a sinking ship while someone kept drilling new ones.

Eventually, I filed for divorce. This choice didn’t come easily. It was terrifying. It cost me my business, my home and life as I knew it. But in selling the business, I was able to pay off all of our debts.

For the first time in my life, in my late 40s, I found myself 100% in control of my life, my choices and my finances. I bought a home and rebuilt my life on the financial foundation my father had taught me. My only debt was a mortgage. I lived frugally, saved and began investing. I was nearly 50 when I began building a nest egg for retirement.

More than anything, I felt relief. I could easily manage my mortgage payment. I had an emergency fund. And for the first time, I had the peace of knowing that what I had built rested on a solid foundation.

The Real Lesson Learned

For years, I thought my father had taught me how to manage money. And he had. What I didn’t understand yet was why those lessons mattered so much.

Debt taught me that.

My father’s advice wasn’t really about being frugal. It wasn’t about denying yourself things you enjoy or accumulating the biggest bank account possible. It was about protecting your choices.

When you don’t owe your entire paycheck to someone else, you have choices. When an unexpected expense doesn’t have to go on a credit card, you have choices. When losing a job doesn’t immediately put your home at risk, you have choices. And when you have money saved and invested for the future, you begin creating choices for a version of yourself you haven’t met yet.

That is why managing my money became one of the habits that changed my life.

How to Get Out of Debt

Getting out of debt isn’t complicated on paper. Spend less than you earn, stop borrowing, and use the difference to pay down what you owe.

In real life, it’s much harder.

Life doesn’t stop happening just because you’ve decided to get out of debt. Cars still break down. Furnaces quit. Kids need things. Grocery prices go up. And sometimes, after a long week of doing everything right, you simply want to enjoy some of the money you worked so hard to earn.

That’s why getting out of debt requires more than a budget. It requires changing some of your habits.

Where is My Paycheck Going?

The first step to getting out of debt is to find exactly where your hard-earned money is going. Write down every expense you have.

Once you know what you owe, take a close look at where your money goes each month. I find it helpful to separate expenses into two categories: the expenses you have to pay and the spending you have some control over.

Your mortgage or rent, utilities, insurance, minimum debt payments and other necessary bills have to be paid. You can’t simply decide not to make your mortgage payment because you want to put more money toward a credit card.

Then there is the spending you have more control over. This might include subscriptions, unused memberships, convenience food, restaurants, coffee, entertainment and impulse purchases. None of these things are necessarily bad. The question is whether they are more important to you right now than your goal of getting out of debt.

Some expenses fall somewhere in the middle. You have to buy groceries, put gas in your vehicle and heat your home, but that doesn’t mean those costs are completely outside your control. You may be able to plan meals around sales, combine errands to use less gas, adjust the thermostat or shop around for a less expensive phone plan. These aren’t expenses you can eliminate, but small changes can reduce how much of your paycheck they consume.

The goal isn’t to make your life miserable trying to save every possible dollar. It’s to look at each expense and ask a simple question: How much control do I have over this cost?

What is My Income?

The next step is calculating your total income. This is your take-home pay amount and any other forms of income, like spousal income, child support or funds from side hustles.

How to Begin Paying Down Debt

Once you know your income, expenses and total debt, you can begin figuring out how much money you have available to put toward paying it down.

Look for money you can temporarily redirect. Maybe you cancel a gym membership you aren’t using, pack your lunch a few days a week or make coffee at home. That doesn’t mean you can never buy lunch or coffee again. You’re making an intentional decision about where you want your money to go.

I like to think of these changes as part of the strategy rather than things I’m being forced to give up. If making coffee at home saves me money that I can put toward eliminating a credit card, that coffee has helped move me one step closer to my goal.

What If You Still Don’t Have Enough Money?

You may discover that even after cutting unnecessary expenses, your take-home income still isn’t enough to cover your necessary living expenses and minimum debt payments. Before you can begin to pay down debt, you need to create some space between what you earn and what you spend.

If you’re short $50 a month, a few small changes may solve the problem. If you’re short $800 a month, making coffee at home isn’t going to fix it. You need to know the size of the problem before you can choose the right solution.

As difficult as this realization may be, now you know what problem you’re actually trying to solve. The fact that you have brought this to light is powerful information. It is the missing piece of the puzzle.

The next question becomes: What can I realistically reduce, and what can I realistically do to increase my income?

The answer may lie in increasing your income, changing vehicles, downsizing, negotiating expenses, selling something or taking on temporary additional work.

Once you’ve created that space, you finally have money available to begin changing the situation rather than simply surviving it.

Pay Attention to Your Spending

Keep tracking where your paycheck is going. I like to write down everything I spend. It makes me stop and think before I buy something: Do I need this? Will I regret this purchase when I have to write it in my tracker?

You have to stop digging the hole deeper. If you’re paying down one credit card while adding purchases to another, you’re moving money around rather than getting out of debt. This can be difficult at first, which is why I believe having a small emergency fund is important. Without one, the first unexpected expense can undo months of progress.

I started looking at money I didn’t spend as something I had gained rather than something I had denied myself. Walking away from something I didn’t need began to feel better than buying it. That change in thinking made being frugal feel less like deprivation and more like winning.

Snowballs and Avalanches

Once you have a little breathing room, choose a debt and focus on paying it off.

Some people start with the smallest balance (the snowball method). Others start with the debt carrying the highest interest rate (the avalanche method). Mathematically, paying the highest-interest debt first will generally save you more money in interest. But don’t underestimate the psychological benefit of paying something off completely. Seeing a zero balance for the first time can give you the motivation to keep going.

Whichever method you choose, the important thing is to keep moving forward.

And when you finally eliminate one of those payments, don’t absorb that money back into your lifestyle.

Roll it into the next debt. This is where your payoff plan begins gaining momentum.

A $100 extra payment becomes $250. Eventually $250 might become $500. As debts disappear, the amount of money you can throw at the remaining balances grows. What seemed impossible when you started begins moving surprisingly quickly.

The Crooked Path

Progress isn’t always a straight line. You might reduce a $10,000 balance to $6,000 and then have a $1,500 emergency that forces you to use credit again. That can feel defeating, but don’t ignore the progress you’ve already made. You still owe less than when you started. Deal with the setback, learn from it, rebuild your emergency fund and continue.

Eventually, something remarkable happens.

The money that used to belong to credit-card companies, banks, and lenders begins belonging to you again.

That’s when getting out of debt becomes about something much bigger than paying bills.

It’s about getting your choices back.

The High Cost of Credit

Another lesson my father taught me was that when it comes to money, you either pay interest or make interest.

I didn’t fully appreciate that lesson until I experienced debt. Every dollar I paid in interest was money I had worked for that could no longer build my future. As I eliminated debt and began saving and investing, that relationship slowly reversed. Instead of paying for yesterday’s purchases, my money could begin working toward tomorrow. I finally got off the hamster wheel and could start exploring something I hadn’t experienced before: freedom.

Living with more debt than you can comfortably manage can feel like carrying a massive weight on your shoulders and never being able to put it down. As you begin to feel that weight decreasing, it can motivate you to keep going. It almost feels like a game that you know you can win.

Crossing the Finish Line

Once you’ve eliminated your high-interest and consumer debt, decide where those former payments will go before lifestyle inflation claims them. Emergency savings. Retirement. Investing. Saving cash for a vehicle. Starting a business. Travel. Paying off a mortgage. Create a plan to keep saving. Avoid the temptation to get back into the old habits that put you into debt.

These are just a handful of the options that eliminating debt can create. But perhaps even more valuable is the sense of peace and freedom that comes from having those choices.

Imagine what life would feel like if on payday, you were deciding how to invest your money rather than disbursing it to creditors.
Imagine how it would feel to not be counting the days until payday because you have bills due and can’t yet cover them.
Imagine comparing interest rates to find the best place to invest rather than the best rate to refinance at.

Paying off debt isn’t really about how much money you can accumulate. It’s about creating a life in which more of your decisions belong to you.

Learning to manage my money taught me to pay attention to where it was going. Every dollar I spent was a choice, whether I realized I was making that choice or not.

Eventually, I began to realize that money isn’t the only valuable resource we spend without thinking about it.

We do the same thing with our time.

Spending a few minutes scrolling through our phones doesn’t seem significant, just as spending a few dollars here and there doesn’t seem significant. But minutes add up just like dollars do. And unlike money, we can’t earn our time back.

That brings me to Habit 6: Limit Your Screen Time.

About the Author

Amy is the founder of Path 2 Epiphany, a personal growth community dedicated to helping people who feel stuck create a life filled with purpose, confidence, and meaning. After transforming her own life through small daily habits, intentional growth, and a commitment to becoming the person she wanted to be, she now helps others navigate their own path to lasting change.

Amy believes that transformation isn’t found in one life-changing moment. It’s built through small, consistent choices made every day. Her mission is to help others discover that meaningful change is possible—one step, one habit, and one day at a time.

If you’d like to continue exploring these ideas, I invite you to visit Path 2 Epiphany, where you’ll find more articles, free resources and practical guidance for creating meaningful change one step at a time.

Take your time. Stay awhile. This journey isn’t about changing your life overnight—it’s about taking the next step.