Keep Promises to Yourself
By Amy
This is the 7th habit from my blog How 10 Small Daily Habits Can Change the Direction of your Life. It doesn’t sound very impressive. But it is the cornerstone to all of the other habits that do have a more powerful impact in your life. If you decide to try waking up early to do gratitude journaling, that’s a small promise that you make to yourself. If you keep it, it can create a beneficial habit. The consequence for not keeping that promise to yourself is that life will continue on as it always has. Nothing changes. But if you keep that promise to yourself to wake up 15 minutes early every day to do gratitude journaling, it may change your perspective on life as it did for me. That single habit didn’t change the world for me. It changed the way I saw the world. And in the words of Robert Frost’s poem the Road Not Taken, “And that has made all the difference”. Sometimes, the smallest choice has the biggest impact. That’s how I feel about the habit of keeping promises to yourself.
Why are we so good at keeping promises to others and not to ourselves? Imagine what life could be like if we treated ourselves with the same level of importance as we do others. What if today you kept your word to yourself and walked a mile or didn’t make an impulse purchase so that you could pay extra on a loan? What if you repeated it the next day and the next? The results begin to stack up in your favor. One mile is now 3 miles. You have a much bigger extra payment to put towards that loan. This is the power of keeping promises to yourself.
When you decide on a goal, it doesn’t just happen because you want it. The results take time. This is where many people give up. They want to lose 20 pounds but after a week of dieting and little to no weight lost, they give up. This is where the promise holds its power. When you have a goal, you only need to keep the promise today. So today I will eat in a way that supports my weight loss. Today I will not spend money on things I don’t need so that I have more money to pay down that loan. Today I will wake up 15 minutes early to journal. That’s it. That’s how a promise has power. It’s one day. If you keep that promise every day, it begins to add up.
And the beautiful part is that if you have a day where you can’t keep that promise to yourself, it’s ok. Keep it tomorrow. There are times that I allow myself to bend the rules. I am going out with friends and we are going for pizza and ice cream afterwards. This is for tonight only. Tomorrow, I will be back to eating healthy again. So it’s ok to be flexible as long as that doesn’t become a habit.
How it Began
For me, it all started with the commencement address given by Admiral William H. McRaven called Make Your Bed. In his speech, he states “And, if by chance you have a miserable day, you will come home to a bed that is made—that you made—and a made bed gives you encouragement that tomorrow will be better.” I had been going through a very hard time in my life and searching for ways to improve it. This was a small habit that piqued my curiosity. I didn’t like crawling into a messy bed at night. So I got up 5 minutes early and made my bed. Once. Promise kept. That night, I had the pleasure of getting into a nice neat bed and it felt good. It was like a tiny reward at the end of the day. That simple promise did make a difference. And so I kept that promise the next morning and the following. It’s been years now and I still make my bed and enjoy climbing in each evening with a little thought of gratitude to Admiral McRaven for the suggestion.
But the great thing is that it didn’t stop there. That tiny promise grew much larger. I asked myself what else I could do to improve my life. decluttering my home and preparing everything for the next morning so my day started off smoother.
And when I felt the impact mentally every day from these promises, I wanted more. That’s when the big changes began for me. I woke very early to journal and read. That’s 3 promises rolled into one process. But these promises were different because they made me look within. They made me think and reflect.
This habit of making small promises to myself began to alter my entire life. I had my home in order making it feel like a sanctuary. But the biggest change was in myself. I had learned the power in keeping promises to myself. Each promise on its own was small but held a bigger impact than I expected. But each one led to another and they really began to stack up. My mindset was very different now. I realized that if I wanted change, it didn’t come from wanting the change. It came from me learning to trust myself through small commitments that I actually kept. “And that has made all the difference”
Give it a Try
Guidelines:
Make your promises to yourself as important as those you make with other people.
We rearrange our day to keep an appointment with someone else, yet easily dismiss the walk, reading time, or personal project we planned for ourselves. That happens because we don’t commit to it as we would if we promised to meet a friend for that walk. Try changing it from “I’d like to walk after dinner” to a little promise to yourself that you will take that walk.
Make the promise realistic and specific.
“I will walk for ten minutes after dinner” is easier to honor than “I’m going to get in shape.” Keep your promises small, realistic and specific so that you keep them.
Examine what you are promising.
Is it something you actually value, or something you think you should want? A promise deserves thought before it deserves persistence. It’s ok to not work out at the gym. We often feel pressured by others for the promises they keep for themselves. If it’s not something that you actually want, you will struggle to keep doing it.
Give yourself evidence of follow-through.
Each completed commitment is a small example you can point to when you doubt your ability to change. Making my bed didn’t have any measurable results like losing weight or saving money. But I enjoyed the results every night and it taught me that it’s literally an active decision to do something and to follow through. I learned to trust myself and that was powerful.
What happens when you miss?
A missed day does not have to become an abandoned goal. Notice what interfered, adjust if needed, and return. When we go to camp for the weekend, I still wake early but my eating habits aren’t great. We go out to dinner where there are 3 bars to choose from. There is nothing healthy on the menu. I don’t beat myself up over it. I remind myself that a healthy meal just isn’t an option there. As soon as I get home, I return to my promise.
What if a promise is too big?
If you read Make Your Bed, which I hope you do, you will find that some situations are so difficult that you make promises for the moment. In Navy SEAL training, the inner strength they are building comes in short-term goals with the long-term goal of graduation in mind. I will get through this training session. I will hang in there till the next meal. I will not ring that bell this morning. Navy SEALS inch their way to graduation. Their training is so hard that to survive it, they must work through each challenge rather than a whole day.
Short-term promises are good when you are faced with a challenge that seems impossible. Let’s say that you want to complete a marathon. When you begin, it’s not so difficult. But the more miles you run, the louder the voice in your head gets to quit. As you get to that point, you promise yourself that you will do one more mile. And when a mile is too big of a promise, you pick a landmark. I will run to that signpost. Inch your way to the finish line one promise at a time.
The part of your promise that is solid gold is that your brain begins to accept this as your new normal over time. As those promises get longer, your mind is accepting the change. When you first started a promise, your mind balked at the idea. But you can start to feel the promise gaining power over the challenge as your faith in yourself grows. A new goal is still met with that voice that tells you that you can’t finish a marathon because you’re too old. But this time, you yell back “I’ll see you at the finish line!”.
When Life Interrupts
Sometimes life asks more of us than we expected, and a promise has to wait. A dear friend of mine was making good progress building her hypnotism business when an extended illness left her unable to work for months. Once she recovered, she got right back to it. The interruption hadn’t erased her progress or changed what mattered to her. Keeping a promise to yourself may sometimes mean allowing time to recover, then returning when you are able. If you are in a season like that, give yourself room. You can still care deeply about a goal even when you cannot work toward it right now.
Power of the Promise
I decided to cut back on sugar as a big promise to eat healthier. I love ice cream and pastries. Donuts were a favorite. At home it was easy, there was nothing there to tempt me. My son complained that there was nothing in my house to eat but dirt, leaves and sticks. Work was a different story. We often had donuts or cookies brought in. I stayed at my desk to avoid the trigger. A few months later, someone brought donuts from my favorite bakery and I decided to test myself. I was feeling strong thanks to promises kept. I walked up to the box and opened it. I saw my favorite one! I would breathe in the aromas. In my mind, I could imagine the textures of the pastry as I bit into it. I could taste the chocolate frosting and that sweet fluffy angel filling. I stood for a second living the experience in my head. And then I closed the lid and went back to my desk. That became a ritual for me. Coworkers would ask me how I could do that. There was so much pleasure in enjoying the power of my promise, that I was not tempted to actually eat one. But one day, I decided to eat a donut as a reward. And much to my surprise, the actual donut experience did not hold as much pleasure as my imagined version. After I ate it, it felt like a disappointment. I had just consumed a lot of sugar, fat and calories and it felt “meh” to me. Shortly after, I felt nauseated as my body was not used to eating large amounts of sugar. I have not eaten a donut since. Over time, my body had grown accustomed to my promise to cut back on sugar.
Challenge:
For the next seven days, choose one small promise to keep to yourself. Something that matters to you and is realistic for your life right now.
Maybe it’s reading for ten minutes, taking a walk after dinner, or preparing one thing tonight that will make tomorrow morning easier.
Write down your promise and decide when you will do it. Each evening, take a moment to notice whether you followed through. If you missed it, be curious about what got in the way. Does the promise need to be smaller? Would a different time work better? Give yourself another opportunity tomorrow.
At the end of the week, ask yourself: What did I learn? How does it feel to follow through on something I chose for myself?
You don’t have to change your entire life this week. Begin with one promise and see where it leads.
What’s Next?
As you begin keeping promises to yourself, you may notice how the people around you influence your choices. Some encourage you. Some have habits you enjoy sharing. Others may have difficulty understanding the changes you want to make.
It’s worth considering how you feel after spending time with someone. Can you be yourself? Is there room for you to grow? Do you offer them that same room?
That brings us to the next habit: Choose Your Relationships Carefully.
About the Author
Amy is the founder of Path 2 Epiphany, a personal growth community dedicated to helping people who feel stuck create a life filled with purpose, confidence, and meaning. After transforming her own life through small daily habits, intentional growth, and a commitment to becoming the person she wanted to be, she now helps others navigate their own path to lasting change.
Amy believes that transformation isn’t found in one life-changing moment. It’s built through small, consistent choices made every day. Her mission is to help others discover that meaningful change is possible—one step, one habit, and one day at a time.
If this article resonated with you and you’re ready to begin creating a life you can’t wait to wake up to, I invite you to explore Path2Epiphany.com/blog/. You’ll find thoughtful articles, free resources, and practical guidance designed to help you move from feeling stuck to living with greater purpose, confidence, and intention.
Take your time. Stay awhile. This journey isn’t about changing your life overnight—it’s about taking the next step.